#9 | Darshil - I couldn't convince my parents to eat plant based meat during Navratri

What's cooking - Qualitative study to understand food in urban households

Jan 19, 2023

A vast majority of Indian households consume meat as a part of their diet. But meat consumption in India comes with its own terms and conditions, like no meat on Tuesdays or festivities. But can one eat alternative plant-based meat these days? Would it still be considered a sin? How would religion perceive it? Lots of questions need to be answered in the coming years. Darshil’s story gives us a sneak peek into it.

About the research: 'What's Cooking?' is a user research series aimed at understanding how urban millennial households consume food. All the names and personally identifiable information are masked to honour the participants' privacy. I publish one story from this series every Thursday.

Darshil, his parents, and his two sisters live in a rented apartment in Gurgaon, India. They have been living in this apartment for 1.5 years. Prior to that, they lived in Delhi for 10 years. Both of Darshil's sisters contribute to the family's income, while Darshil's mother manages the household's cooking and meals. His father is retired.

Food preferences

Darshil and his family deeply appreciate the flavours of North Indian cuisine, which is why they often turn to Darshil's mother to prepare their meals. She is a masterful cook, and her dishes never disappoint. Although they are primarily vegetarian, Darshil's father's mood sometimes dictates whether or not they will have non-vegetarian food. Darshil's mother is the one who decides what to cook on a daily basis, and she always keeps everyone's preferences in mind.

Here’s a snapshot of their meal preferences:

I discover my breakfast at the dining table every day

The family's love for North Indian cuisine brings them together, but each member has their own unique preferences.
Darshil and his elder sister experiment with different diets to maintain a healthy weight, which occasionally deviates from the rest of the family's eating habits.
But Darshil's mother, a skilled home cook, knows every member's tastes so well that she expertly caters to everyone's preferences, ensuring everyone has a meal they can enjoy.

My mom has been cooking for a long time and she knows what everyone likes. So my mom plans everything. My elder sister is very particular about what she eats. So my mom actually plans on that. She would really feel bad if everyone was eating something and if one particular member doesn't have anything to eat of their own choice.

I couldn't convince my dad to eat plant-based meat during Navaratri!

During the festival of Navaratri, Darshil's family observes a strict vegetarian diet and abstains from meat.
In an effort to be more sustainable, Darshil purchased plant-based meat alternatives from Impossible Foods, but his parents couldn't be convinced to try it as it still felt like regular meat to them.
Despite Darshil's efforts, the plant-based meat ended up going to waste and Darshil couldn't convince his parents to change their traditional ways.

For that Impossible Foods wala nahi hota (Local Language) the plant-based meat, we bought it once only. And I bought it during Navratri. I tried to convince them a lot that it is not non-veg, it is not non-veg, it is pure-veg. They didn't listen to me. They actually threw it. They said don't eat it. They're not convinced. And the taste was also not, to be honest, not good. It was similar to that thing, the smell and everything, but I don't like Mutton, it was Mutton Liver or something. I didn't like the smell, so I also didn't eat, so we had to throw it away. They were not convinced that it is plant based.

Darshil also avoids eating beef because it breaks the family's trust and beliefs.

I really wanted to eat Kerala Paratha. We went to a hotel, and my friend ordered Beef. I was like nah, I can't eat it. I know it's already dead, but I can't eat it because my family believes in it, and I don't want to break their trust. My friend was like, you only live once and all that. Then I took just a small piece of it and I tried to eat it. I couldn't even swallow it even though it was just another meat coated in masala. My upbringing was in such a way that I could not just eat that.

The change in location helped my mom adopt online ordering apps

Darshil’s mom buys vegetables from the local markets (Sabzi Mandi) on Tuesdays and Sundays. They also order items like rice, sugar etc., from the local grocery store through WhatsApp.
Darshil’s mom asks Darshil’s younger sister to order dal from Big Basket. And other urgent needs are bought via Blinkit, Instamart or BB now apps.
Initially, Darshil's mom was apprehensive about buying things online. But once they moved to a new city, she tried it once and was okay after verifying the quality and price of the items.

When we came to Gurgaon, my mom was not used to this sort of lifestyle here because everything is located far from each other. Even the closest shop is really, really far compared to Delhi. So she thinks like there's no point in going till there. She compared the price and quality, and there wasn’t much difference between offline and online items. So she was like, okay with it.

Despite the convenience of online ordering, Darshil's dad remains sceptical about buying meat online. He prefers to go to the butcher shop or local market, where he can inspect and see the product with his own eyes before making a purchase.

A Change of Taste: Diversifying Our Food Orders

Darshil and his family only order food once or twice a month, and when they do, they tend to opt for non-vegetarian options.
Darshil's elder sister, who studied outside her hometown and now works in a different city, is exposed to different kinds of cuisines as opposed to his younger sister, who predominantly grew up with home-cooked food. Hence while ordering, Darshil’s elder sister is the only one who regularly tries different food, orders from outside or goes to restaurants.
When choosing a restaurant, Darshil's decision-making process starts with looking for the best discounts, checking reviews, and looking at pictures of the food listed on food delivery apps.

My elder sister grew up in most of the posh areas of Noida because her college was there and my younger sister, but elder to me has never stepped outside. She studied in Delhi and she never lived in a hostel. She was mostly every day all her commutes has been from home. So the upbringing has been very different for all three of us. My elder sister doesn't think much about spending and everything, so she experiments a lot when she's going outside. Her friends are also of that sorts. They are mostly like young startup folks. You know how they are on Twitter. Exactly the same. So that is how she is. My younger sister, doesn't even think about, she gives everything to my mom. Everything she's learning and everything. She doesn't have a lot of wouldn't say ambitions, she's not into this idea of whatever Instagram sells us. Or these social media sells us, she never got affected by all those things. Like my elder sister has been got affected by all the Swiggy and Zomato stuff. I got affected by all the wondrous stuff. So, but my younger sister hasn't been affected by that a lot. She was at home all her life. But she never got affected by that stuff. So experimenting only my elder sister does and she's outside at home, we don't do much.

For himself, Darshil is not too particular about the delivery time. Still, when ordering for his father, timing becomes crucial as his father is very careful about when he eats and can be grumpy if his meal is delayed.

The journey towards a healthy lifestyle

Darshil is working towards a weight loss goal and following a diet. He practices intermittent fasting by skipping breakfast and limiting his intake of sugar and rice.
Darshil's father also has health concerns that require him to follow a strict diet, avoiding sugar in his food.
In contrast, the rest of Darshil's family does not prioritise the health aspects of their food. Darshil's mother in particular, believes that any home-cooked food is healthy enough to consume.

Conclusion

As a researcher who explores the intersection of technology and culture, I’m intrigued by how culture and upbringing can shape our food habits and behaviour. The fact that Darshil could not bring himself to eat beef due to his family's beliefs or how the elder sister is open to trying out newer cuisine because of her exposure to the outside world indicates how strongly rooted upbringing is in our food decisions. Darshil's story also demonstrates how technology can facilitate change, in this case, by helping his mother adopt online ordering apps, which she initially was apprehensive of.

Let me know what you found exciting from this story. Drop a comment. Fin.

Follow me on Twitter (@dharmeshba) for updates on Indian consumer behaviour. Thanks to Rajesh Raghavan for co-writing this piece.

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